Father’s Day 2020
My daughter texted me, “Happy Father’s Day,” this morning.
It’s incredible that anybody believes they’re unique.
I’ve met a lot of people.
I’ve met a lot of people good at communication. I make books.
For some reason or other, I consistently publish best-sellers.
I got lucky.
Early.
I got to see all the men I didn’t want to be.
I didn’t get stuck with the girl I liked when I was twenty and I didn’t know what I was doing and she didn’t know what she was doing either. So her mother runs our life and makes a mess of it.
I didn’t get stuck in a job where every day is Groundhog Day and my goals and the horizon are the same so I might as well give up. So I shut out everybody.
I didn’t get stuck with my hand out, begging for money.
I didn’t get stuck so afraid of everything that I constantly put hands, or belts, or electric cords, or cigarettes on the people I love.
I didn’t get stuck with someone who isn’t attractive any longer to me.
I didn’t get stuck loving pussy so much I become a slave.
I didn’t get stuck so weak I couldn’t discipline my loved ones.
I didn’t get stuck with a wife who didn’t know that it’s hard to fight these demons and win so it’s gotta be me and her against the world. She understands if she wants my love she’s gotta love me back. I got lucky I didn’t get stuck with a woman who means princess when she says queen.
I didn’t get stuck so stubborn I had to control everyone around me and in so doing condemn my kids to turn out weak.
I got lucky.
I got to learn early what made me happy, and that it was ok to be happy. I’ve had to relearn that, but if I didn’t get it early how would I have known what to look for?
I got lucky I didn’t get stuck having a boss. I got lucky I don’t work on a plantation, wasting considerable brain amperage believing I’m free.
I got lucky I didn’t get stuck not knowing what made me happy, stuck constantly huddled with other broken men, digging graves with debt, following all these stupid people chasing all these fictions in music videos, on social media, and on TV.
I got lucky. I can be greedy and want two wives.
I got lucky. I own last year’s best phone. I can pick up my OnePlus and tell Google to turn on the TV in another room. Everything’s ready for me in Vizio 1080p high definition, and Dolby surround by the time I get there.
I got lucky. My mother taught me to read, and since my dad left early, I got to really see the men in my neighborhood.
I got lucky. I got to choose the fathers I thought were good for me. I got lucky they showed me their houses, and by extension their lives. I got lucky none of them molested me.
I got lucky. My step-father taught me to play chess.
I got lucky. My Dad came and got me when I needed him, and needed discipline. And gave me advice, and showed me his flaws, and kicked me out before I was ready. I got lucky I got to live long enough to understand he did that to make a man out of me.
I got lucky. I got to visit more countries, and live in more places than most. I got to meet a lot of people.
I got lucky. I had a father who bought me Nintendo. The other day a guy I grew up with reminded me that he used to come over to my house and play. He also reminded me that he didn’t grow up with one, but he said it as a compliment. He said he knew Nintendo because of me. He was afraid I didn’t recognize him. He had his hands out. He asked me for money.
I got lucky.
I got very lucky.
I was loved.
Some people get stuck in lives they hate, and then get stuck believing life has to be that way.
Happy Fathers Day.
#blacklivesmatter #sweetsin #freelancelife
